Please help me correct these essay errors?





There were also several differences between Washington and Lincoln. Washington came from a wealthy aristocratic background. He had several years of schooling. Lincoln came from a poor background and he had very little schooling. Another difference between the two involved their military roles. Washington was a general. He was a military leader. Became president. Lincoln never served in the military. He was a lawer who early on became a politician. When he became president, he took on the role of commander in chief, as all U.S. presidents do. Despite his lack of military background or training. Lincoln made several strategic decisions that enabled the U.S. military leaders to win the Civil War. Finally, Washington served for two terms and therefore had eight years to accomplish his policies. Lincoln, on the other hand, was assassinated. While in office and was not able to finish some of the things that he wanted for the country.



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3 Responses to “Please help me correct these essay errors?”

  1. snatxeS says:

    Not bad – I see a misspelling, a couple logic problems, and some ambiguities you could clarify: (1) Lincoln didn’t even have “several years of schooling”? (2) “Became president.” is a sentence fragment and President should be capitalized. (3) “Lawyer” is misspelled. (4) “Despite his lack of military background or training.” is a fragment. I think you meant a comma there. (5) If you’re focusing on the differences, what is the relevance of mentioning Lincoln’s effective strategic decisions? (6) You mention that Lincoln was assassinated, but how many years did Lincoln serve?Final point: big picture here, you mention some differences. But how significant are these differences? If I was a teacher (I used to be) I would be more interested in comparing how they took different approaches to similar problems and to mention why one way was more effective as the other, or just as effective but different.

  2. reformatory says:

    There were also several differences between Washington and Lincoln. Washington came from a wealthy aristocratic background and had several years of schooling. Lincoln came from a poor background very little schooling. Another difference between the two involved their military roles. Washington was a military leader,as a General and became the first president of the United States. Lincoln never served in the military. As a lawer, who early on became a politician, he also became president and took on the role of commander in chief, as all U.S. presidents. Despite his lack of military background or training. Lincoln made several strategic decisions that enabled the U.S. military leaders to win the Civil War. Finally, Washington served for two terms and therefore had eight years to accomplish his policies. Lincoln, on the other hand, was assassinated while in office and was not able to complete his goals for the country.

  3. dacryoadenalgia says:

    He was a military leader, then became president.he took the role of commander in chief, as all U. S. presidents have.was assassinated while in office and was not able to finish some of the things that he wanted for the country :)