Can you correct this for me? (2 sentences)?





"Although the American Revolution was a major turning point in history , it wouldn't have happened had the Colonists been treated fairly. The Revolution was not only the result of patriotism, but distress and oppression on behalf of the British toward the American Colonists"It's just a part of an essay I half to write for history.. as you can tell I'm on the Americans side. Anyway, correct this please? :)



Similar Asks:

  • What one single event led directly to the abolition of slavery in the northern states where it had been legal? - american revolution isn’t specific enough and the answer is not the emanicipation proclamation because my teacher said that is not it. One of the single most distinguishing features of American history is the enslavement of millions of Africans between the middle of the seventeenth century (1600s) and the end of the Civil War (1865).
  • American History help please? - I have to write an essay on the American Revolution and I am so confused on who is who. So my question is who where the Colonists, Patriots, and Rebels? And before some of you tell me to go do my reading, I already did and I’m still confused… :
  • Was industrial revolution worth it in the long run? - i am writing an essay on industrial revolution for my history class and i am having a very hard time making sense of all the articles i have been able to find. i have learned a lot about it but i don’t really know how to put it all together into an essay. I need
  • Please help with thesis statement on french and indian war for essay? - The French and Indian war also known as the Seven Years war lasted from 1754 to 1763. The French and Indian war altered relations between the British and American colonies through political, economical and ideological aspects. The war was fought between the English and the American colonists in what was called the New World.
  • Do Americans say grand for a thousand dollars? - I was just wondering how the Northern Americans say certain amounts of money. I am trying to write an essay and in it I wrote a price as Two Grand ($2000, I hope) when I mean Two Thousand Dollars and I was wondering if that was correct or if I have made up a new
  • History help.Who, what ,when,where and why? - Hellow. OKAY so I have 3 esays to write only 1 of them will be on my test. Now I’m not trying to cheat or anything but I have spent 2 days trying to find the answers in my book but I cant so I was wondering if all of you here at yahoo could
  • WWII roles! Need some help!? - Hi, I’ve been researching roles in WWII and I need some help. I have to write essays from the point of views from an American Bombardier, and Atomic Bomb Survivor. I have already written essays from the point of views of Rosie the Riveter and American Marine and I could use some help. I




Both comments and pings are currently closed.

4 Responses to “Can you correct this for me? (2 sentences)?”

  1. bandaging says:

    ‘Although the American Revolution was a major turning point in history,it wouldn’ have happened had the Colonists been treated fairly.The Revolution was not only the result of patriotism,but distress and oppression on behalf of the British towards the American Colonists’

  2. daucus says:

    Only thing I would suugest is that it would be more proper to add the word “of” between “but ” and “distress”.

  3. MEL says:

    Nah, sounds good, only grammatical error I see are the extra spaces between “history” and the “,” comma

  4. unhesitating says:

    “Although the American Revolution was a major turning point in history, it would not have happened had the Colonists been treated fairly by the British. The Revolution was not only the result of patriotism, but of the distress and oppression of the British toward the American Colonists.”-I had a teacher who told me that essays always sound better without contractions- Specify who the Colonists should have been treated fairly by in the sentence-The phrase “on behalf” just didn’t sound right to me, but I’m not too sure about thatGood luck on the essay :)